space pirate babysitters aren't actually heartless
by hellodenihere
Summary: It's been two days since the idiot captain has ate, or been seen alive after he almost got himself killed. Abuto should probably go check up on him. Takes place after Four Devas arc.


If there was anything he knew about the brat it was to never bother him when a) he doesn't smile, or b) when he flashes _that_ killer smile, or he'd be dead at either option.

The kid was always bad news but somehow, things can always turn out for the worse wherever he goes.

So Abuto turns away from the door because no way in hell was he going to risk his life to check if the idiot captain was alright just to find out which one of those options were right. It doesn't matter if the dumbass hasn't eaten for a whole two days, despite the fact that there was practically an entire buffet right outside the door, or the fact that that monster even for a yato, has not come out of his own quarters ever since the recent battle. The kid literally massacred an entire army whose last chance at survival was stabbing poisons into him in the fight. Abuto walks away further.

He takes another step. Wait.

The kind of poisons worth a dozen for being insanely effective.

And another step.

The kind of poisons that had been drilled into the fucking idiot, because, apparently, dodging is a waste of time when he can just 'walk it off' anyway.

Well shit.

Does this mean he was the new captain now?

Abuto starts to cough out loud. He stomps onto the floor, once, twice, and messes up his hair out of frustration.

Well fuck this kid.

He runs back to the entrance of the door in an inhuman speed. Because he isn't. This time he doesn't hesitate, and outright slams the door open all the way because no need to be afraid when the captain could be-

"Oiiii Captain. Are you still alivee?"

-dead?

The lights are all out. Shards of glass littered everywhere on the floor along with old bandages soaked with dry blood. There's a terrifyingly familiar scent of sake in the air, piles of clothing stacked everywhere, bedsheets and curtains teared up at their place and honestly, the asshole was messed up but he atleast kept a tidy room, so what the hell was going on.

"..Captain? Did you actually drink or am I just imagining things?"

This was way too weird even for him. Maybe he did sign up for a babysitting service in one of what was probably the worst life choices he made, but he definitely did not sign up for this. He readies himself, leaning one of his hands on the door knob just in case he just _can't_ anymore.

There, in the corner of the room beside the bed was the idiot captain named Kamui, crouching quietly on the floor with a bottle of sake by his side.

Kamui looks up at him, his right eye twitched like he was trying to decide if he wanted to punch his way through his heart. He hiccuped.

"Abuto,-_hic-_ what the-_hic-_fuck are you doing here."

That was not a question. That was a goddamn threat. A fucking kid hiccupping and asking something in a way that's not a question is threatening him. This is his life. He rubs the back of his head as he closes his eyes. Granted, it wasn't like the kid never drank before. But that was the point, he barely did, saying shit like _it ruins the mind Abuto just look at stupid old man back in Earth _and blah blah blah. That was the point! People liked having their mind blurred out if they had a choice in not being conscious for a while, for god's sake.

Maybe he shouldn't have defended it, now that he thinks about it.

"I was just checking to see if you're alive," a beat. He rumbles out a laugh sounding irritatingly fake even to his own ears before continuing, "no need to be so mean, Captain."

He takes a look and it just hits him that the kid was bleeding by the side of his head. Now where the hell did that come from?

"Hey captain, what's wrong with your head?"

Well, more than usual anyway.

The kid finally looks up, a disturbing glare with a matching firm line set on his mouth. For added measure, he tilts his head to the side as if to pretend cluelessness as he answers, "Nothing's_-hic-_wrong."

"Uh no, forget nothing. Nothing's in your head, is there? You're saying you've been bleeding out all this time and haven't noticed?"

A pair of deep blue eyes blinks up at him in confusion while he reaches out to touch his own head.

"Ah. I really am bleeding."

_For fuck's sake. _

He gives up. Fuck his life. No, his life was already fucked. They had just cut partnerships and teamed up with the so-called Kihetai, who they were supposed to be killing off, by killing off their prior alliance who had ordered them to kill the other in the first place. Sometimes he wonders how he's still even surprised at this point. Or alive. Really.

So Abuto does what Abuto has to, take the medical kit by the kid's bed, _Jesus now that's just sloppy, _crouches down, and straight up grabs at the kid's head. And starts tending to it. The vermillion-haired idiot stays quiet, closing his eyes.

"My, my. How the mighty have fallen. If the enemies knew that getting fixed up makes you drowsy we'd all be done for."

The kid slaps his hand off.

"Fuck you, Abuto." Kamui says with venom in his voice. Well, it would've looked more terrifying if he kept up the scary face. Probably would've worked so much better without the flush on the cheeks. And then he hiccupped. Scary.

Abuto rolls his eyes and ignores this, as he starts to roll up the bandages around the head. And because he technically is morally obligated to care, (and not because he looks out for the kid because he actually does,) he aks, "How're you feeling, captain?"

Silence. Utter silence. And then,

"Like crap."

The brat groans, _actually groans, _in pain. Like a bleeding head is a big deal.

"Hm. Is that so," Funnily enough, alcohol does not make the captain more of an uncontrollable psycho than he already is, as much as the whole squad had feared and guessed. It only makes him more of an angsty teenager, exactly like how normal kids his age should be. (It was also strangely familiar to the kid who had just left his home, covered in bruises and a burning passion to be stronger than all of them, as he refused to humor any of them when he was talked to).

Huh. Maybe this was what he meant with 'ruining the mind and all that crap.'

"and hungry."

Ha. Now that was the idiot he knew.

"Don't worry kid. Just take a nap and you'll feel better enough to terrorize the whole ship and the new guys."

"I'm not a kid." The idiot kid says, but he brightens up at the thought of it, so screw him.

The older yato stands up, clearing the mess of what used to be a decent-looking bed. And because he's a softie, he puts the extra effort of even making the bed. The young captain cooperates this time when he takes his arm to get up and sit.

Abuto thought that was the end of that when the other yato lays down, as he makes his way to the doorknob when-

"Why did you save my idiot sister?"

He let the question hang in the air for a while.

"Huh. Why did I save the poor sister that you've left all those years ago." He feigns, thinking back to the last time they were on earth, in Yoshiwara, as they group back together. As he kept talking and complaining about all his injuries as Kamui half-carries him back to the ship. He whined and whined about how the girl could be just as crazy as her brother if she tried and all that, because there was no way the idiot captain would ask about her if his damned pride could help it. And the kid never told him to shut up, but he didn't press either. The fact that he even asked such a thing is practically as good as a thank you that he's ever going to get.

"Abuto."

At this point, Abuto was just mildy annoyed.

"I told you before. It's just sad that our race keeps killing each other. I'm trying to save our kind here, dammit. Now go to sleep, idiot captain."

He turns the knob and leaves.

And when later, much later, the kid wakes up and devours anything and everything edible that Abuto even tried to ask if he was feeling crappier than before. The younger yato looks up at him, the look of utter and pure innocence plastered on his face as he chirps out, "Huh? What do you mean? Did you come to my room earlier? Abuto, you creep."

Abuto just quietly thinks fuck him for being worried, because of course the kid would lie through his teeth. The fact that he can feel the kid's stare at his retreating figure out of the dining room, the sound of pure slobbiness of a yato munching on a meal gone, is enough of a tell.

He waves his hand.

"Ah, nevermind."

Damn brat.

eyyy guess who just graduated uni a week ago. this is the part where i share my life just bc i can.

_« x »_

**a/n:** so i was starting an actual new gintama fic and then i thought, 'oh crap i haven't been catching up for more than a year i should probably go check what's- well shit.' no words. i mean honestly tho i'm sad about it. the final chapter is going up for real in a week or so. wow. so then like always i got a writing block for that one then i checked up on my other old fics and finished this one instead just because i can.

you know that old draft you just wrote for the hell of it but stopped halfway through because you didn't know where you were going with it? that's basically my writing process. i go back to it a few years later and then hey yay it's finished. this is not healthy.

anyway! i wanna say more fics bc i'm unemployed and lost irl, but i don't wanna jinx myself. but hopefully i find more motivation to do so so give me comments please? and yes, drunk kamui could definitely be an occasional thing. and he def does it in secret because he's a hypocrite.

(and yes, my username was katou-michinzu. i got old enough to realize how cringy that is but can't bring myself to change it on tumblr bc my tags!) (also follow me on twitter/tumblr!)


End file.
